So... Last night DH and I were talking about the surgery (which is exactly 15 days from today). We were discussing some threads I had read on LBT . Anyway, like me, he is scared that this will be just another diet he failed at (how do we get past these negative thoughts???). He's afraid he will be hungry all the time and still be able to eat 4 quarter pounders with cheese AND Large fries post band. He's also wondering how in the hell he will make it through the liquid diet, he's afraid of getting headaches and just not being able to stick to it (we only have to do the post op liquid diet for 4 days). Remember, DH is the one that wanted the surgery, he convinced me to do this with him. So, he needs to get a grip or I'm gonna seriously lose it!!
Back to my Title: DH asked me if it was possible for him to lose 80 pounds by July. Well.....Before I heard him out.....I became very annoyed and said something to the effect of "this is not a race, this is a lifestyle change. I am not going to get into this pattern again and give up because I did not lose the weight overnight - so just stop RIGHT NOW!!!"
He looked at me calmly and said "this isn't about you - this is about our daughter - I want to go swimming with her in July while we are on vacation."
You see my DD is 9 and she always asks her Daddy to swim with her. Well....because of his weight....he has not gone swimming in over five years. He always turns her down because he does not want to be seen shirtless in public. He usually comes up with some other fun thing to do instead - but he knows in his heart that what she really wants to do is swim with her Daddy. He also fears that before he knows it she will be grown and this desire of hers will pass and he would have missed making some great memories with Emily. So, now realizing the signifigance of this goal, I ask you, is it possible for DH to lose 80 pounds by July with the band?
I'm not sure as I don't have my band yet, but everyone's experience is different. I do hope he gets to swim with her this summer, though!
ReplyDeleteFor good or for bad, men seem to lose weight faster than women. So, in the beginning stages, I would think it is more than possible he'll be down 80 lbs or very close by July. You're brave to do this with your husband. I was really ticked at mine when he was losing weight on MY weight loss program. :)
ReplyDeleteLara
Hey Lara - Thanks for following. The very first and last thing my surgeon warned me about is that DH will lose MUCH faster than me. Story of my life :( I just have to keep my head in the right place and celebrate my victories - whatever they may be.
ReplyDeleteHi Dawn, yes I had heard that men do lose faster than women, at least at first. So tell him he will definitely lose a lot of weight, but I am not sure how much.
ReplyDeleteIt depends on how much overweight he is. It seems that the more weight you have to lose, the faster you can lose initially, then the weight loss slows down.
But there is great hope that he can & will lose at least enough weight that he will feel comfortable with his shirt off!!!
Hi Dawn
ReplyDeleteI've just found your blog via The Dash; I wanted to leave a comment for two reasons
1) I'm being banded on January 20th, exactly one week before you and
2) I also live in Reading; except I live in Reading, UK!
Actually, there's a third reason - I'd like to wish you good luck too!
Best wishes
Justine
Hi Justine, Good Luck to you - my friend from Reading :)
ReplyDeleteHey Dawn - I think if he does well during bandster hell he could do it. Those stupid men and their quick weight loss. I totally understand your feelings about losing way more than you. My husband and I are both losing(no band on him) and he really kicked my ass for awhile, but I'm catching up. :)
ReplyDeleteBTW - is 80 significant? Would he swim at 65 down? You never know how he'll be feeling at that time.
Hi Dawn,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thanks for following my blog! I think it is awesome that you are being banded on Amy W.'s date. I wish I had a date already. About your husband, it's quite likely that he can lose that much by July, but even if he doesn't I bet he'll feel so much better about himself he'll be willing to swim. That was really brave of him to talk to you about it. I wish you all the best, and can't wait to share in your journey.
Tess
"Band me Baby!"
Dawn - it might be possible - boys and girls are different... but I'll bet that he is going to feel so good about WHERE HE IS (regardless of the number) that he'll still swim with her. Really. I wish both of you the best of luck. Remember -that you WILL BE HUNGRY afterward. And he will feel like he can still eat as much. This surgery takes time. But if he wants it for his daughter, he wants it for him too. I keep a picture of me, at 280+ holding my daughter (it is on my sideboard of my blog if interested) in my purse. I look at it EVERY DAY. It is usually an easy choice as to what I do with my food choices, because I am doing it for her too. How lucky both of you are that you have each other to go through this with! Good, good luck - and keep us posted!
ReplyDeleteYou tell your husband to come over to your computer and read this...RIGHT NOW....
ReplyDeleteDH, anything is possible! But regardless of whether you lose 60 pounds or 80, you can go swimming with your daughter in July! I promise! And no one will say "He is too big"...they will just say "Oh look at that dad playing with his daughter"...and your daughter will love it! And you! You are beautiful DH. Just the way your are!
Okay, I am done now.
Because you are being banded on the most wonderful day in the whole year...you already have a leg up. You will make it through the liquid diet. We all did and some of us had 2 weeks of it! It gets easier after the first several days...oddly enough! It will be hell for awhile until you get restriction, but you guys will make it.
And you know what? Someone MIGHT have a big mac or other naughty meal...but if that happens...it wont be the norm.
Good things are coming!
Thank you all for your comments on this. Hubby weighs 260 lbs now for those of you wondering. As Tess said, I think he will swim even if he loses less than 80 lbs - he is bound to feel better about himself. Sarah - I have seen your picture & I like the fact that this keeps you on track - I want to use that tool too! Amy - he read your post. He was surprised at the Big Mac comment! And I agree with what you said about a Dad playing with his daughter -it's just that his self esteem is just in the toilet right now & I know that as he sheds pounds he will feel better.
ReplyDelete